How to recharge your energy as a mum

Oh my Dear, you still saw nothing!!…. A phrase that I often heard, especially when my child was six months old and was trying to hold on tightly to the sheets so that he could stand and was overwhelmed with joy at his new achievement and I smiled at him saying, “Bravooo!”.

Before pregnancy and giving birth, my passion was to read books related to children. Then the postpartum stage, education became my interest in reading, especially positive education, and I worked hard to support my child to help him with his companionship, understanding, embracing him and expressing my love for him in word and actions, not by raising him with anger and beating, away from my personal pressures at work and at home. Unfortunately, sometimes the winds don’t come as ships desire… When my child “Nemo” was on year old, I felt very tired and unable to balance my work, my child, my home, my husband and my self. As a result of extreme exhaustion, I did not have enough time and enthusiasm to take care of my appearance, so I began to see myself as not beautiful, so I focused on eating impulsively, which led to my weight gain and my body became inconsistent, which increased my sadness, so I became like an old woman in her fifties and not a young woman in the prime of life.

I felt i was falling short all the time, especially for my house. When a relative visits us, they tend to volunteer, like most visitors, to comment on its cleanliness and appearance. Because of their simple comment, i felt horrible for the rest of the week.

Also, I no longer had time to go out and have fun because of my many responsibilities, I had less contact with my friends. I was separated from the outside world. Then I got into a cycle of comparing my family with some other families, so the natural result of that comparison was frustration because the comparison was totally unfair.

 

During those periods of frustration, I found tremendous moral encouragement from some, but inside me, I rejected them and did not believe their encouragement, and my sense of falling short prevailed, and that feeling affected my relationship with “Nemo”, sometimes I treated with him with love, joking and playing and sometimes as a result of frustration I got angry at him. An example of this is one day, “Nemo” pulled the tablecloth and threw it on the ground. I told him that what e did was wrong and then he helped me to put it in its place and we laughed together. The next day, I was very frustrated, and “Nemo” repeated the same behavior, and my response was violent, loud and sharp, which negatively affected him, so he was afraid of me and began to reply loudly. After that comes the last stage for most days, which is the stage of self blame and remorse. So I reconcile with him and because he is a small angel who accepts peace and gets back to playing together quickly with a mixed reaction of amazement and lack of understanding and looks that accuse me of madness. But….. Is the stage of self blame and remorse really the last stage? no

Because after working on myself a lot, I discovered the following:

-When fatigue and pressure increase, I must stop this vicious cycle and find time for myself.

– Finding time for me away from my responsibilities, my son and my husband was not a simple thing, but I had to learn that without feeling pressure and guilt.

How do you make this time?

-I encourage myself for my efforts and thank myself with a simple reward like chocolate.

-By resting, even if it only lasts an hour.

-Trying to wake up half an hour or more before my child and devote time to reading, thinking, or watching something I love. This time recharges my energy and increases my activity.

 -I love myself and pat my own shoulder.

-I Block my ears for any negative comments.

-Focusing on my goals that I intend to achieve with logical thinking that is not mixed with feelings, away from comparing myself to others.

Realistically, my life changed for the better, and I realized that the biggest mistake was that I was out of the cadre (meaning I was nullifying myself from the time my child was born).

Everything I have shared here is not easy at all. But it is not impossible. I encourage you to find your own way to be yourself in the midst of your responsibilities.