Why is my child aggressive?
Children often try to express their anger and frustration, it may come as a surprise to you slapping, kicking or punching, sometimes they attack when they are angry, because they are not sure how to deal with their feelings in a socially acceptable way. A child who hits his mother when she says “No”; Perhaps he hopes his aggression will change her mind.
There are five main reasons for young children’s aggression that drives them to hit
High sensitivity: when the sensitive child is exposed to stimuli beyond his energy, he expresses through kicking, pinching, biting and other behaviors that seem aggressive to you, and if you feel that your child’s sensitivity is beyond normal and expresses it with increasing violence, then you should seek Specialized help.
Self-assertion: When your son hits you, you may be tempted to respond aggressively; This is completely understandable because this kind of behavior is not acceptable in the adult world! And sometimes you are afraid of the reaction of your young child and wonder where all this violence comes from??!.. The child is trying to attract your attention and interest in him, whether positively or negatively, instead of responding violently, a calm response will be more effective.
Curiosity: Questions such as: What happens when I use my body in this way? What kind of reaction can I get from this person? What is the effect of my actions on the world?! All of these questions are normal and appropriate for your child’s development in his exploration of his surroundings, he may try touching your eye with his finger or kicking your nose with his foot! In these cases it has to be redirected to another activity to satisfy this curiosity.
Energy: They are full of energy; You get over them and they start acting crazy!.. This may manifest in ways such as destroying things or hurting others and you are a target too, so if the child is indoors all day, he may need to drain this energy more regularly, and this means the need to go outside, play As a way to spend this extra energy effectively and beneficial to his physical, emotional and mental development.
Communication: Before our children have adequate language skills and way of thinking, they tend to use their bodies to communicate. If a child has a speech delay, he may feel frustrated by his inability to communicate, thus becoming aggressive, and with the development and improvement of his social skills; These behaviors usually begin to decline, so whether your child is a batterer or a cute angel; It needs to be supported by having a gentle approach and quick response to hitting and hurting.
How do you respond when your child hits you?
Establish rules about hitting: Establish rules of respect within the family. Make it clear that hitting, kicking, biting, or other physical aggression and cruelty is not allowed in the house. Make these rules as positive as possible. Instead of saying “don’t kick”… say “Don’t use your body to express yourself.” Talk to your child about your rules to make sure he understands the consequences of breaking them.
Teach your child appropriate behaviour: It is not enough just to say “don’t hit”… Teach your child anger management skills. Encourage your child to read a book, draw a picture, take a deep breath, or go to his room when he is angry Teach your child about emotions such as: sadness and frustration, and discuss the importance of dealing with these feelings in appropriate ways by helping your child discover ways to safely deal with his or her emotions. It is not allowed and you will not tolerate it.
Impose clear penalties for hitting: Clarify the consequences each time your child hits you, those consequences that prevent them from hitting again For some kids, stopping talking to them is the most effective way to deter them from hitting again Others are additional penalties. Taking away privileges can be an effective discipline strategy. You can limit your child’s use of electronic devices or certain games for 24 hours. You can ask your child to do extra homework (like arranging their books or toys) or ask them to draw a picture of you. As a way to apologize, and if your child hits you frequently, treat the problem with a reward system. Reward your child for “using gentle touches.” Praise your child often when he does. When he hugs you, tell him how much you like his gentle touches like a hug. If he responds appropriately, praise him. his efforts
Avoid corporal punishment: If you use hitting as a punishment, your child will be confused about why you hit him and not let him hit you! Children learn more about behavior from what they see you do, rather than what they hear you say. Be a role model that respects the behavior. Show your child how to deal with anger, sadness, and disappointment in appropriate ways.. Physical punishment is “revenge.” We do not want to teach our children about revenge. We want to teach them to stand up for themselves.
