Self Stimulation
At an early age, children realise that touching or rubbing their genital area feels good. Some pick up the habit of doing this in public. Boys may touch their penises and girls may find different ways of rubbing themselves against things to generate pleasurable feelings.
Not harmful, but inappropriate in public
Self-stimulation in itself is not harmful in any way. In fact, all experts in the field of sexology agree that masturbation is not only normal, it is also healthy. In most cultures, on the other hand, a child engaging in self-stimulation in public, or in front of others is considered to be acting inappropriately. If a child, who is no longer a toddler, does this in front of others, it’s definitely time for them to learn that masturbation is ok in private but not in public. The Kids’Skills steps can help.
At an early age, children realise that touching or rubbing their genital area feels good. Some pick up the habit of doing this in public. Boys may touch their penises and girls may find different ways of rubbing themselves against things to generate pleasurable feelings.
Name the behaviour
To be able to talk about masturbation with your child, you’ll need a name for this behaviour. The best solution is to let them suggest a name, but if they can’t do this, feel free to use words such as “touching” or “rubbing”. It doesn’t actually matter what name you decide to use as long as the word you select is shared with your child.
Explain the idea of privacy
Explain to your child that it’s ok for them to masturbate (using the word you have agreed on together) but that they are now old enough to understand that people are not supposed to behave that way in public, only at home, and that even when we’re home, it’s only ok when we’re alone. Take the opportunity to talk to your child in general terms about things that it’s ok to do in public in your culture and things that people are expected to do in private. Small children, for example, often sit on their potty in front of others, but as they become bigger, learn to use the bathroom alone. Adults seldom leave the door open when they’re sitting on the toilet.
Learning the skill
Once your child understands the reason for learning to only masturbate in private, tell them how the Kids’Skills steps can help them learn this new skill. After they have named the skill, choose a power creature and plan how you will celebrate together when it has been successfully learned. An important step in the process is asking how they want to be reminded of their new skill if they happen to forget it. Agree with them about where it’s ok to engage in self-stimulation (such as in their bed under the covers), and if they find it difficult to resist the urge, also agree on times in the day that can be reserved for doing it.
Synopsais
Self-stimulation (masturbation) is quite normal and in no way harmful. On the other hand, if children who are no longer toddlers continue to behave this way in public, it’s time to explain to them that this type of behaviour is inappropriate and that they should learn the skill of only doing it in private.
This article is owned by: Kids’Skills http://www.kidsskillsapp.com/
