12 years – Interrupting Others
Problem
Sara had a number of problems. She was overweight, she had a short attention span and she constantly got into fights with her friends. She was diagnosed with ADHD and she had been recommended medication, which the parents refused.
Skills
Before Sara came to see a Kids’ Skills coach with her mom, she had already a conversation with her mom about what skills she needed to learn in order to overcome her problems. They scribbled down on a sheet of paper the following skills: “to learn not to interrupt adults”, “to learn to raise my hand at school, when I want to speak” , “to learn to be kind to my handicapped brother” (Sara physically attacked her brother on repeated occasions) “to learn to sit still on my place for longer periods of time” and “to learn to concentrate better on homework assignments”. The coach asked Sara’s parents which of these skills was the most important for Sara to learn. The parents felt that the most important thing for Sara was to learn to not- interrupt others. Sara agreed: “I know I am far too impatient,” she said.
Before Sara came to see a Kids’ Skills coach together with her mom, she had already had a conversation with her mom about what skills she needed to learn in order to overcome her problems.
Benefits
It was not difficult for Sara to think of what benefits the new-to-learn-skill would give: “My friends would respect me more and they would hang around more with me. I think, that I might even make some new friends. I wouldn’t be told off to often at school and I would not be sent so often to the corridor. I would be able to listen to the teachers better and during the dancing lessons I would not get so many remarks.”
Naming
Sara wanted her skill to be called “waiting tone”. She explained, that very often when you call a number, there is an automated answering machine that tells you to wait until you will be able to talk to a person. While you are waiting you have to listen to some waiting tone, usually some relaxing type of music.
Power creature
When the coach asked Sara if she wanted to have a power creature, she didn’t understand the question. The coach explained to her that the power creature is a cartoon character, or imaginary being, that will remind her of her skill, and will give her extra powers and support, while she is learning her skill. After she heard this explanation, she knew at once, that she wanted a particular horse to be her power creature. This horse was known for its patience and docile character.
Supporters
Sara wanted her supporters to be her coach, her both parents, both of her grandmothers, her two good friends, her classroom teacher and her dance instructor. She approached each of them and asked them to become her supporters. Everyone said yes.
Celebration
Sara became all excited when it was time to talk about how to celebrate learning the skill. She was keen on organizing a grilling party in the little garden at back of their house. She wanted to invite all her supporters and all the girls of her dancing class.
Confidence
Sara invited her teacher along to the next session. When the coach asked the teacher if she believed that Sara would be able to acquire her skill, the teacher said, “There’s no doubt about it. Not long ago she scored very well in a maths test, even if maths has always been a difficult subject for her.” Her parents gave their answer to the same question: “You will learn for sure. You are a strong girl. You are our daughter.” Sara was radiating while she was hearing all these encouraging words.
Practice
In order to acquire her skill Sara started to keep a picture of her power creature in her pocket. “I pull out the picture whenever I need to wait for something and I don’t put back into my pocket until it is my turn,” she explained. “How will you remember to do that?” her coach asked her. Sara thought for a while and then said: “I tell myself ‘Stop’.” Sara wanted her teacher to tell all the other pupils in her class about her skill, so that they could support her. A notebook was placed on the teacher’s desk where everyone, including Sara herself, her teacher and her classmates report observations regarding Sara’s progress.
Setbacks
Sara came up with the idea that her teacher and her two girlfriends, whom she had nominated as her supporters, could remind her of her waiting tone skill when necessary by whispering her the name of her power creature.
Follow-up
Sara acquired her skill sooner than anyone would have believed and the celebration in the garden was a great success. The next thing Sara wanted to learn was to use her newly acquired skill elsewhere, in dance classes, with friends and even with her little brother.
This article is owned by: Kids’Skills http://www.kidsskillsapp.com/
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