Selective Mutism
The term ‘selective mutism’ is used for children who speak normally when they’re at home but don’t want or dare to speak with anyone outside their family. In typical cases, a child is talkative at home but doesn’t say a word to anyone at school.
A form of social phobia
Within child psychology, selective mutism used to be regarded as a serious psychological problem, with successful treatment believed to require several years of intensive individual psychotherapy. More recently, this conventional view has been challenged by many experts who argue that the problem is simply a form of social phobia where the child concerned is fearful of communicating with outsiders, i.e. people who are not members of their immediate family.
Once selective mutism is viewed in this way, children who suffer from this problem can be helped using exactly the same methods used to help them to overcome other fears – through gradual, step-by-step training and desensitisation.
As with developing all new braveries, helping your child progress by taking tiny steps is important. For example, they might start off by practising the ‘talking-to-strangers-bravery’ using roleplay at home, with the teacher being a favourite puppet, another family member or an adult who is not part of their immediate family.
Turn this fear into a bravery
Rather than talking to your child about being fearful of communicating with outsiders, talk to them about the benefits that will come from developing the bravery to communicate with others. Children find it far easier to develop new braveries than spend time trying to overcome fears, and their motivation to succeed will be much higher. Instead of overcoming their fear of communicating with outsiders, your joint goal should be developing the bravery to communicate with people less well known to them.
Take baby steps
As with developing all new braveries, helping your child progress by taking tiny steps is important. For example, they might start off by practising the ‘talking-to-strangers-bravery’ using roleplay at home, with the teacher being a favourite puppet, another family member or an adult who is not part of their immediate family. Other small steps worth considering include communicating with ‘strangers’ in writing rather than by speaking, exchanging text messages on the internet or by phone, and talking on the phone before moving to face-to-face conversations.
In the same way as with conquering other phobias, bravery training in selective mutism should take place slowly at your child’s own pace. Planning each new step together with the child is important, and the child should always feel in control of the process. Familiarize yourself with the steps of Kids’Skills to get further ideas of how to help your child develop speach bravery.
Possible skills
- The bravery to participate in a role-play where you pretend to be talking to outsider of the family
- The skill of communicating with outsiders in writing
- The skill of talking on the phone with outsiders
- The skill of greeting, or responding to the greeting of an outsider
- The skill of giving short answers to questions presented by an outsider
This article is owned by: Kids’Skills http://www.kidsskillsapp.com/
