Separation Anxiety
Some children find separation from their parents difficult. They may, for example, object to being left at their kindergarten or school, clinging desperately to their parents in the moments before being separated. If leaving your tearful and unhappy child in someone else’s care feels overwhelming, think about how you can use Kids’Skills to help solve the problem in a gentle and playful manner.
Separating from parents is a skill
Think about separating from parents as a necessary skill, or bravery, that every child will eventually learn. Some children develop this bravery on their own without much fuss. Others find it more difficult and may need help and support. Children can also lose this skill even when they learned to use it.
Think about separating from parents as a necessary skill, or bravery, that every child will eventually learn. Some children develop this bravery on their own without much fuss. Others find it more difficult and may need help and support.
Design a game for learning this skill
Start by helping your child to invent a name for separation bravery, such as “Bye-bye-bravery” or “See-you-soon-again-courage”. They can start rehearsing the new skill using a cuddly toy. Play a game in which the animal will be separated from its ‘parents’ because they need to leave it in someone else’s care. Your child can use the game to come up with ways of helping their toy cope with the separation. They can then use the same techniques when it’s time for them to rehearse the “Bye-bye” or “See-you-soon-again” skill in real life. Praise your child for both good ideas and making progress, even in small steps. Check the Kids’Skills Guide for more ideas about how to help children learn skills and develop braveries.
If your child is older, you will probably need a different strategy. Explain to them that it’s normal, on occasions, for children to lose skills they have already acquired. If this happens, all they need to do is relearn the lost skill.
Work together on a plan or a step-by-step training programme your child can use to rediscover separation bravery. Let them suggest ideas about how to practise this bravery in small incremental steps.
Synopsis
Separating from parents is more difficult for some children than others, but it’s a skill or bravery that all children need to acquire. You can use games to help your child develop separation bravery – for example, work together to teach a soft toy how to separate from its ‘parents’. Help your child think of a name for separation bravery and encourage them to suggest how this bravery can be further developed by rehearsing it in small steps.
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